More breathing

I had my first appointment yesterday with my new infertility therapist. As usual, I was running late and of course, starving. I stopped to get a fast lunch. I hopped back in my car and scarfed down a chicken shawarma. By the time I made it to her office, I was feeling rushed and I was sweaty...so gross! When I walked into her office, I heard calming nature sounds of waves breaking on sand, birds chirping, wind blowing through trees. The office smelled like incense and as I took a seat in the waiting room, I felt a lot less frazzled.

I spilled my guts and my therapist listened intently to everything I was saying. She validated all my feelings and highlighted the strengths she saw in me. She said I was a lovely woman and said it takes all kinds of stamina to endure what I've endured. I gotta say, I left her office feeling pretty powerful :) For the first time in my TTC journey, I felt powerful! For all of us going through IF, feelings of powerlessness dominate us. It is a terrible thing to feel like your body can't do what is seemingly so easy for other women to do. I've spent all of my TTC journey feeling totally useless so, to feel powerful was a very pleasant surprise.

Now that I'm finished school (will be graduating in the fall), I definitely need another project. So, I'm launching a full-scale attack on the extra 40 pounds I'm carrying. To that end, I'm resuming my daily running routine and looking into buying free weights. I solemnly swear I am NOT spending another summer being overweight! This weekend, I'm buying a goal dress and a goal bikini. My DH suggested taking before and after pictures; much as I don't want before pictures, they may be helpful when I hit the inevitable weight loss plateau.

I have to say, since I'm not consumed with TTC, it feels like I have more room in my brain for other things and that is a lovely feeling. Breathe in, breathe out.