Let me introduce myself...

January 27, 2010

I'm a 30-something year old woman, married to a 30-something year old amazing man. We've made a great life for ourselves and are hoping our little family of two will become three.

I finally took the plunge. I've started a blog. I've been thinking about this for a while. My husband and I have been trying to concieve our first child almost 4 1/2 years. So far, the journey has been a roller coaster. This is my story of infertility, miscarrage, hope, inspiration and hopefully, motherhood.

Here is a quick and dirty timeline of our journey so far:
November 2004 - threw out the last of my birth control pills.
September 2005 - first cycle of trying to conceive. BFP, which ended in an early loss.
June 2006 - suprise BFP. Loss in July 2006.
November 2006 - BFP. Another loss.
January 2007 - Started with an RE. Standard testing done. DH's SA was great. Two mystery cysts found on my left ovary, which my RE wasn't concerned about.
April 2007 - First round of clomid with IUI. BFN.
May 2007 - Second round of clomid with IUI. BFN.
June 2007 - Third round of clomd with TI. BFP. Yup, you guessed it...another loss.
December 2007 - At my insistence, I had a laporoscopy, which removed the mystery cysts and confirmed a diagnosis of endometriosis.
January 2008 - Started with another RE.
June 2008 - First round of Repronex and Puregon. BFP. Blighted ovum discovered at 6 weeks. My asshole RE didn't want to give me the bad news and let me carry a dead baby in my belly until 9 weeks, when I went to my OB. Misoprotal taken to start a miscarriage but didn't clear out all the "tissue". November 2008 - d&c done to clear out everything. Okay, moving onto another RE.
November 2008 - Met with my third (and final) RE. First cycle of Gonal-F. BFN.
February 2009 - Second cycle of Gonal-F. BFP. Heart beat at 6 weeks. Loss at 7 weeks.
May 2009 - Surprise BFP. Heart beat at 6 weeks. Thundering heart beat of 160 at 8 weeks...YAY!!!!!! Searing abdominal pain at almost 9 weeks. Loss discovered at 10 weeks. Seriously thinking about living childfree because I am so emotionally fragile.

So, that's my journey so far. Dr. S suggested we take a break...fine by me. I need a rest from the trauma of consistent BFN's and the devastating loss of the BFP's I do get.

Dr. S also suggested we do IVF w/ PGD (a process to rule out chromosomal abnormalities). I start meds for our first (and hopefully) only IVF this Sunday. Fingers crossed that this will finally us a healthy baby.

In the midst of my quest to motherhood, I've developed a passion for baking and a love for cooking. This is bizzare because I never dreamed I had culinary skills...who knew?

I have a long time love for reading and I enjoy almost all genres. Susan Isaacs and Janet Evanovich are two of my favourite authors.

My youngest sister and I are taking up yoga. Let me tell you, watching my 125 pound sister do yoga poses with grace and balance is a real slap in the face when I look at my big body struggling to not fall flat in my ass.

Thanks for reading.